What a Relief! My Daughter is not American Psycho Material.

When I first saw her drawing, I had no context. And I’ll admit that my imagination went THERE. I mean, I flashed forward to my preschooler’s future and pictured some form of American Psycho playing out.  How would I sit in the courtroom and be supportive of my daughter when she had committed the atrocity hand-drawn on this white-out board?  I think I may have even practiced appropriately contrite, yet loving faces for the courtroom cameras.

Because don’t you see that this is depicting one person running a spear through another person’s body? And isn’t it clear that just prior to the spearing, somehow the brain of The Speared has popped out and fallen to the floor?  But I played it cool when I asked my daughter what she had drawn.

It’s not what you think.

“Honey? What did you draw for Mommy?” I expected a gory tale fueled by recent news events overheard on NPR.

“Momma! You know what it is!”  Umm. No, honey, I don’t. Please tell me.  “Momma! It’s when my soccer ball was lost and I cried and you came over and hugged me! Momma! You remember!” Her whining shout explained it all so clearly. But I still didn’t see it.

I looked again. Okay, I guess the brain could be a soccer ball. And sure, instead of horrified shrieking, I suppose the subjects could be crying, or consoling. And yes, the spear could definitely be arms reaching out to hold the cryer.  Although, I still didn’t know what the dotted line around my eyes was meant to be. And what about the blood gushing out of my head? What is that?

“Momma! It’s your sunglasses and ponytail! You know!”

Well, I guess now I know.

hanging out at The Speakeasy with yeah write.


About That Unique* Weblog

Adjusting to car culture, dealing with leaving a career I loved, and spouting off along the way. Do The Most Good.
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23 Responses to What a Relief! My Daughter is not American Psycho Material.

  1. dalrie says:

    Ahaha, I try not to guess my kids drawings because I always guess it wrong. My daughter put a yellow shape on a piece of paper and asked me if I knew what it was… I replied with “sun” and my daughter laughed like I was the biggest idiot on earth and replied, “It’s a pyramind with a black hole in it”….Um she’s three. And I’m still not sure if she was talking astrology of if she meant that the pyramid had a hole in it. Kids are creepy.

  2. Oh, this is one of the best posts EVER! I was laughing so hard. Awesome drawing!

  3. Stacey says:

    I’ll be honest. That drawing scares me. At least it’s on a whiteboard so you don’t have to hang it on the fridge.

  4. my sweet adorable eight year old loves to draw…and he draws exclusively pictures of ants having epic battles. In fact, he’s writing a book called “Ant Epic.” The scenes are bloodthirsty in the extreme and the sound effects he makes while he draws? Blowing up, exploding, bullets whistling through the air…it’s D-Day as done by a beat boxer. God only knows where he’s headed and god only knows what I’d look like in his rendering. (I would’ve said, by the way, that it’s a picture of you via that horror movie about the guy in the goalie mask. Just in case you were wondering.)

  5. jamie says:

    Awww… she’s quite an artist 😉

  6. I have stored away in my brain the benefit of the kids having access to a whiteboard – you don’t have to keep the drawing. My packrat tendency will want to keep too many anyway, and then you just erase away the psychological evidence.

    Loved the mystery. I didn’t know what it was either. I’ll have to remember, “Love it! Tell me about it.”

  7. IASoupMama says:

    I love it! I always ask the very open-ended, “So, tell me about your picture…” and my kids make up a great story about what they’ve drawn. So great that I say, “You need to tell daddy about it!” and then when daddy gets home, they run over with the picture and make up a completely different story because they cannot understand what they have drawn, either. Cracks me up every time!

  8. Laverne says:

    I LOVE the images that comes out of our children’s heads. I followed you on most of e post. The two figures are certainly not happy. The circular object… flower was my first thought. Sunglasses… unless yours are totally bedazzled then yes maybe. Most of all I am so happy your daughter does not have a future in crime or murder! -LV

    • My glasses are definitely not bedazzled – although the next pair may now be! And we can only hope for the best when it comes to keeping our kids far from a life of crime. Sigh. Thanks for stopping in to admire the artwork!

  9. Eric Sipple says:

    Wait, wait. You *didn’t* hang this on the fridge? Bad mom! Bad!

    • Okay, now that is unfair. I would have to unscrew the whiteboard from the wall and then somehow attach it to the fridge door. (And don’t bring up printing out the digital photo. I shared it with you, didn’t I?)

  10. Kerstin says:

    Awesome. As you know – ever since my reviews of 50 Shades of Grey – I am secretly in love with Christian Bale, but that American Psycho movie did not do anything for me.
    Glad you don’t have to keep it up for the courtroom cameras 🙂

    • I found his character disturbing – but the movie was effective. Honestly, I’m terrified to read the book. I know I’ll be completely freaked by the social commentary. Books give me a more visceral reaction than the film versions. Usually.

  11. So you didn’t laminate this to save forever? Wait, you could Pinterest a tutorial on how to easily save your child’s memories on white boards by removing them from the wall, preserving them, drilling holes for leather laces, and threading them together to make a book. Hmmm, maybe grosgrain ribbon would be better than leather laces. Your choice.

    BTW, the white board is a great idea. I drowned in paper when my kids were young. Ellen

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