For Mothers of all Kinds: The Possibility of You

Congratulations to….Emily! You will receive Pamela Redmond’s The Possibility of You in the mail! 

Montclair can add another feather to its literary cap! Written in the interwoven style of The Hours, Pamela Redmond’s new novel, The Possibility of You, travels back and forth between three women’s experiences with unplanned pregnancies.  Redmond’s ability to create separate story-lines that feel utterly different and still link seamlessly by the close of the novel is impressive.  The Possibility of You is easy to read, and it keeps the reader’s interest with a wide variety of protagonists from which to choose.   Dealing with topics like adoption, abandonment, and identity, the novel explores what makes a family – and it doesn’t offer up the same answer for everyone.

Redmond’s The Possibility of You deals with several pregnant women in varying circumstances, but the possibility of neglect and the choices parents make hover over each vastly different story in this novel.  Whether it’s a well-off mother choosing to spend time with a beau rather than her son, a mother in desperate straits allowing her child to be brought up in place of another woman’s child, a young woman deciding whether or not to continue her pregnancy, and a pregnant woman trying to figure out whether she can love a child, Redmond creates believable characters who face realistic choices.

The clear heroine in the novel is Bridget, an Irish nanny whose story begins in New York City in 1916.  It is Bridget’s choice in how to provide for her child that sets the novel’s events in motion.   Her complicated relationship with Maude, her former employer, serves as a basis for the events that unfold throughout the story.  Redmond’s admiration and respect for Bridget shows in her deep characterization of the nanny.  From the first scene, in which Bridget’s love for her charge is clear, this reader wanted everything to turn out well for Bridget’s character.  And while this is no Disney-fied fairy tale, the novel’s ending is satisfying and even comforting.

The historical details in the different time periods are interesting, but most effective in the earliest story which takes place surrounding World War I.  At times if feels as though Redmond tried a little too hard to show her research.  Her characters mingle with Margaret Sanger, Emma Goldman, and Patti Smith – and really one brush with such a reference would have been plenty.

While the storyline will be interesting to both genders, the novel is meant for women.  The men in the novel serve as supports to the women. They impregnate the protagonists, only to drop out of the story-lines and leave the protagonists to figure out what to do about an unplanned pregnancy.  In the modern-day story – part of what makes it modern, perhaps – the father of the unborn child reappears, willing to support his partner in her decision.  But the novel is all about the relationship between various mothers and their children.  One of the interesting questions the novel addresses is “What does motherhood mean?” And the answer is broad; we see mothers who are nannies, biological, adoptive, and those who foster.  The modern character of Cait struggles to first define and then connect to the concept of motherhood in order to decide the turns her own life will take.

As an adoptee, I found a lot to relate to in some of Cait’s questions as she searched for answers about identity and why her birth mother had decided to continue the pregnancy and then give her up.  Cait’s discussions with her parents (her adoptive parents) were especially touching. However, the push and pull between real parent and real grandparent seemed to change depending on whether the characters were likable characters or not.  And that rubbed me the wrong way at times.  Overall, however, I found the novel sensitive in all the right ways and insightful about important topics that ought to be discussed and pondered.

I highly recommend this novel as one to read and share and discuss.  Topics like adoption, what makes a mother, contraception and abortion (especially now!), and identity make for fantastic discussion starters.  The novel also has a collection of discussion questions at the end for book clubs or just to think about.

As mentioned on Baristanet, Pamela Redmond will be at Watchung Booksellers in March for a reading and book signing.  Don’t miss it!

The Possibility of You is out today! Purchase it at your favorite local bookstore.  Or on Amazon, which is fine, but not as fun.

Here’s something definitely fun: A giveaway!  Thanks to the generosity of Gallery Books and Simon & Schuster, I have one copy of The Possibility of You to give to one lucky reader.  Leave a comment telling us how you identify yourself. Is it career, family roles, where you live, ethnicity, religion, race, language? A little of everything?  For a second chance, please *like* the Facebook page of this blog (do it here!), then come back a leave a comment telling us that you did so.  Chances will be collected until Friday, February 24th at midnight EST, so do it now!

Glad I Saw It: Local Honey and Eggs

Honey with nuts, eggs, and honey sticks.

This past Saturday proved to be a busy day at the Montclair Farmer’s Market.  When we arrived, there were six vendors and farms represented, and many locals were taking advantage of the mild weather.

Apple Honey Sticks!

 

 

 

We picked up some apples, vegetables, and even some dried strawberries.  But what I loved seeing were the nuts in honey.  It reminded me of driving through Las Alpujarras in Spain. There were always various road-side stands with honey and nuts.  So delicious!

We also picked up some free range eggs that had just been collected that morning.  

Aren’t they gorgeous?  It makes such a difference when eggs are fresh and collected from happy chickens.  Most of the people selling food there said they’d be back every Saturday as long as the weather was good.  Baristanet also paid a visit to the winter farmer’s market a couple of weeks ago.

 

It Comes Down to One Hungry Child and A Parent Feeling that Child’s Pain

I was honored to be asked by MamaDrama Consulting to attend the Save the Children kick-off event for their report A Life Free From Hunger.  The panel was made up of leading experts in economics, pediatrics, nutrition as well as the Ambassadors to the United Nations from Zambia and Canada.  It was an inspiring and informative session, and I’ve tried to share the most relevant items below. 

We’ve all seen the heart-wrenching images of starving children in far-flung countries, and we’ve all heard the devastating numbers of deaths associated with starvation.  Photographs and video of swollen bellies and crying children have prompted many of us to open our wallets and take action.  However, even more invasive and deadly is chronic malnutrition.  This widespread problem affects one in four children around the world.  Yes, that means 25% of the world’s children are malnourished.  It means they are lacking in minerals and necessary nutrients for proper development and growth.

Think about how diligently you give your child vitamins, or nudge her to eat carrots and broccoli for the vitamins. Think about the cereal boxes that boast mineral fortifications.  The milk that contains Vitamin D and Calcium.  And think about the variety of foods that we can choose from in our grocery stores.  We take so much for granted, but it’s not the norm in most places around the globe.

It doesn’t matter if you are a parent in the United States or Gambia — if you are the parent of a hungry child, you feel that pain the same way.  This was the image Dr. Stanley Zlotkin, one of the panelists at a recent Save the Children event at the Millennium Hotel at One United Nations Plaza, shared with the attendees.  The numbers we hear regarding children and malnutrition are often overwhelming: two million child deaths each year, 30 million children affected each year, and 450 million children affected by stunting over the next 15 years.  However, Dr. Zlotkin emphasized that it doesn’t mean that individuals and governments can’t make a difference.  And that is the message that will hopefully resonate and spur governments and their citizens to action.

On February 15th, 2012, Save the Children released a report titled: A Life Free From Hunger.(PDF)  The report outlines the hidden crisis of chronic malnutrition and its causes.  It highlights and demands  a call to action to combat the effects of malnutrition that are too often overlooked because its effects are less immediately dramatic than acute malnutrition – or starvation.  However, chronic malnutrition affects one in four of the world’s children. Yes, that’s 25% of the world’s children who suffer effects like stunted physical and mental growth and a host of other serious side-effects for the rest of their lives.

This report and its message are especially important considering that the pledges of $22 Billion from world leaders, inspired by the L’Aquila Food Security Initiative at the 2009 G8 and G20 meetings, have only targeted nutrition with 1-3 percent of that money.  More must be targeted if 25% of the world’s children are to be given a fighting chance.

Chronic malnutrition leads to three times as many child deaths – over two million deaths – per year as compared to acute malnutrition – or starvation.  In the long-term, chronic malnutrition weakens children’s immune systems, which then makes them vulnerable to diarrhea, malaria, pneumonia, and death from acute malnutrition in times of food crises.  It affects mental and physical development (stunting), and later in life it lowers an adult’s earning potential which extends the cycle of poverty.  It is a sobering circle of life.

So what is there to do?  To spread the word about the report, together with the Canadian and Zambian consulates, Save the Children co-hosted a star-studded panel of experts. Speaking with passion and urgency, each speaker outlined what she or he felt had to be done.  Ambassador Rischchynski, the Canadian Permanent Representative to the UN, pointed out that the global community is not on track to reach the goals set in Scaling Up for Nutrition (SUN). He emphasized that as more children survive, we must ensure that their quality of life is worthy of them.

Leading economist Jeffrey Sachs, who serves as the UN Secretary-General’s Special Advisor on the Millenium Development Goals and directs The Earth Institute at Columbia University, echoed some of those ideas. Referring to costs listed in the report, he asked that the audience and panel members not simplify the problem.  He said, “We’ll feel good simplifying, and then we’ll feel bad with the outcomes.”  Sachs emphasized promoting integrated strategies and utilizing highly systematic methods of distribution.  Saying that solving the problem is “harder than it looks,” Sachs went on to warn that the program is “woefully deficient in funding,” but with a combination of systems, metrics, innovation, and science, tremendous progress could be made.

Kathryn Bolles, the hands-on Senior Director for Health and Nutrition at Save the Children, answered the question of “Why now? Why this push?” by pointing out that several hallmark events are converging: The SUN Movement, the L’Aquila Initiative, and the 1000 Days Partnership all make 2012 a critical year for exposing the realities of chronically malnourished children around the world.  Well-nourished children not only survive, she said, they survive to be healthy, productive members of their societies. Dr.

Stanley Zlotkin, recipient of the prestigious “Order of Canada” and the developer of a micro-nutrient powder supplement called “Sprinkles,” spoke next. To try to alleviate the weight of the information shared, Dr.  Zlotkin pointed out that even though solving the malnutrition crisis is “harder than it looks,” that doesn’t mean individuals and governments can’t make a difference.  His point was that the huge numbers come down to one parent holding one hungry child.  For that parent, the child’s pain is very real, very deep.  His hope for the release of the report was that it would spark innovation and action in the international community.

Werner Schultink, the Associate Director for Nutrition at UNICEF, talked about the importance of understanding the wide-reaching negative effects of malnutrition.  It’s not only stunting, although that is a visible trigger for the public to relate to, it is also pneumonia, diarrhea, and susceptibility to diseases and infections that result from the lack of minerals, vitamins and general nutrition.  ”It is very well possible to reduce stunting,” Schultink asserted.  26 developing countries have signed onto the SUN movement, and positive changes in implementation are already happening.

Last to speak on the panel was perhaps the most direct stakeholder, Dr. Mwaba Kasese Bota, the Ambassador to the United Nations from Zambia. In Zambia, she said, 10% of the children suffer from malnutrition. Even more shocking, 45% of the children under five have signs of stunting related to malnutrition. However, thanks to a new mother and child health ministry, one stop health centers are providing social services, vitamin supplementation, and nutrition counseling. Seeds and micro-loans as well as access to domestic and livestock water are going out to small farmers. Support of these programs, Dr. Kasese Bota said, is essential.

Topics that came up during the question and answer period included the role of health care workers in affected communities, the effects of HIV on malnutrition and vice versa, and the contradictions and dangers of using large for-profit companies to alleviate malnutrition – which they have caused to some extent.  Jeffrey Sachs answered by affirming that it was a valid concern, but that avoiding land grabs by outside companies is a priority for aide-organizations.  In fact, small farmers can become partners with large companies to both create higher-earning situations and assure that small farmers’ property holdings are respected.  Dr. Stanley Zlotkin added that while it is naïve to think that the companies do not want some advantage, charities and government organizations can also learn from them about how to scale up efforts and marketing.

Save the Children‘s efforts in supporting Every Woman Every Child, spearheaded by the United Nations Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon, will include up to $500 million over five years.  However, the World Bank estimates that getting the needed services to the children who need them will cost $10 billion.  Split among developing and developed countries, Save the Children believes that amount is manageable. You can help with your donation – every bit counts! – at this secure Save the Children site.

Please read the release from February 15th: Save the Children Report on Hidden Malnutrition Crisis. And for detailed information, including a simple graph on page five which illustrates the causes and interventions in child nutrition, download the PDF of the new report here: A Life Free From Hunger.

Editorializing on the Front Page

Wow.  If there was ever any doubt that a picture really does speak a thousand words, it’s gone now.

Ouch.  While it’s a bit ironic that The Star Ledger would comment on other news (and I use the term lightly when referring to Entertainment Tonight) outlets staking out the funeral for New Jersey’s Whitney Houston when they were also there, it’s fair to say the photo they chose to run doesn’t speak well for the professional attitude of some reporters.  In my extremely humble opinion, reporters need to reflect the situation on which they report.  If you are covering a wedding, don’t walk around with a scowl. If you are covering a funeral or memorial site, wait until you’re a bit farther away before guffawing.

Laugh and Cry with Love, Loss and What I Wore

This past weekend I was lucky to see a matinée of Love, Loss and What I Wore.  The show, a collection of stories centered on clothing that triggers emotions and memories, was funny, sad, and moving.  And I am just about as far removed from fashion as a woman can be.  Still, I found a lot to relate to, and several scenes moved me to laugh out loud and even stifle tears.  The play is at the Westside Theatre at 407 West 43rd Street in Manhattan.

When we arrived, I worried that I’d be bored during the show.  The stage had five chairs lined up, and even the upbeat music playing didn’t make me more hopeful.  However, once the five actresses took the stage, their energy and clear enjoyment of the material took over.  Overall, I really liked the play.  I loved hearing the various stories from women of all walks of life.  I laughed at the stories of bras and stockings and prom dresses.  I gasped (and nodded) at stories of dressing rooms and stains and first times.  And I wiped away tears at stories of the perfect wedding dress, a striped bathrobe, caps to cover baldness, and a black bow crumpled in a child’s hand.

The only moments I felt anything close to boredom were during an awkward scene in which the audience is “taught” how to draw a dress.  My companion felt that some scenes were disjointed and unstructured, particularly the “gang sweater” scene and some of the main character’s stories involving her sister.  I agreed with her to some extent, but because the scenes are short and transition quickly, none of the slumps in the script lasted too long.

Love, Loss and What I Wore has a rotating cast.  We were lucky to have five fantastic and diverse actors perform in our matinée.  Each woman played multiple characters, and seeing the transformation before my eyes (and ears) was impressive and entertaining.  The energetic performance received a standing ovation, and the audience demanded that the actors take a second bow before leaving the stage.

We were able to enjoy the show thanks to the new childcare service in the Playwrights Horizons building: Playtime!  Our children played with CPR-certified “artisitters” from Sitter Studio who sang pirate songs, created a treasure chest and pirate ship, and served them healthy snacks.  At only $15 per child for the entire show, it’s a great deal that made our kids feel like they had had a special day out in Manhattan as well.  Read my full review of Playtime! at Baristakids.  And here is another parent’s take on the service at Old School, New School Mom.

Once we dropped off our kids, we went across the street to the West Bank Cafe for a drink, and then we only needed four minutes to walk one block to the show.  It felt like a mini-vacation!

The show will continue at the Westside Theatre through March, and tickets can be purchased for groups of ten for $59.  If you are a chronically late type, make sure this is not one of those times!  Latecomers are not seated – and there is no intermission!

Playtime! and MamaDrama Consulting provided tickets to the show to facilitate an honest review.  Not to worry, anyone who knows me will tell you that my opinions are wholly my own.

Glad I Saw It: Juxtaposition Above the Fold

This must have been on purpose, right?

I’m glad that my little corner of the world gives me so much to giggle about despite the harsh realities in the world.  File that under survival.

Don’t Give Up. Ever. Unless You’re a Stalker or Planning Something Along Those Lines.

I found this sentiment in a Facebook group called Good News, Good Deeds.  It’s a lovely, uplifting, non-religious (as far as I can tell), Do Unto Others group,  and I really enjoy perusing the positivity.  But sometimes my darker side gets there first and my reactions to some of the items posted take a sarcastic or just plain negative turn.